New to Site - Just found about another

[Zues126]

I am of the belief that divorce busting doesn't happen for at least 90 days after BD.

We can try to detach. We can try to follow the rules. But we are deeply in denial, desperate to have things go 'back to normal', and we are in emotional hell.

Eventually something will happen that will shatter the denial. In my case it was very profound and life changing. After that everything was different. And while I still suffered and struggled, it was clear to me that I was on my own and I started moving forward and accepting my new life.

It's like an addict hitting rock bottom. Something happens so horrible you can't live that way anymore.

LBS's are like addicts to WAS's. They try to manage the addiction, to control it, to find a way to keep it alive. Then things get worse and worse until finally one day they realize it has to stop. That's when true DBing begins.

I'm not making fun of you, minimizing your efforts, or anything. They are all part of the process. And when you hit rock bottom you'll be much better prepared because of the tools and habits you are building now. And maybe you'll bottom out sooner if you keep challenging yourself as you have been. All good stuff.

BD1 is hard, it can't get any worse. BD2 (when you accept BD) is just as hard, but you'll be better prepared. Read Painter's thread as an example, she BD'd for two years and just hit her 'BD2'. I don't want you to wait two years. Please keep challenging yourself. You'll get there coffee.