So it's Friday night and absolutely perfect weather outside, so I decided to stay in my bed and search through and read some of my really old threads. (I am greatful to have son this holiday weekend and he is thankfully in his bed sleeping)
I don't know if I want to really go back and read more, but I do have to say I am really happy for the most part with my level headedness and self awareness and behavior. I never really consciously thought about this, but I like who I am. I am ok with my mistakes because I can learn and grow from them and they were never made to intentionally hurt someone.
Would any differences on my behalf have changed the outcome of my situation? Quite possibly. Perhaps if I could have been more of a friend, and communicated instead of reacted things would have went differently. But it's the dance between two very hurt people. I believe that anything is possible in a relationship if both people want it. But nothing is possible unless both people want it.
My husband just didn't want it and that's fine. That's his decision. I really look forward to my future.
I have some nice career opportunities I am currently considering and I am really flattered at how easily they offered themselves up to me, so I am in a pretty good mood tonight. maybe my lesson from the universe is to "stop trying to control and make everything happen on your time line. Take a more passive approach to life...just let things happen". And I think that might be better for me.
I am so greatful for these boards. The concept of being able to journal and receive live feedback is absolutely incredible. I am completely overwhelmed by it. So thank you!
