First post - Need help!!

[dream]

She'll know you're getting your life together because it will show naturally in your actions.

[KyleR]

I just fear that she won't pick up on them in such a limited window of time. I removed her from Facebook early on as I couldn't stop myself from stalking her account so I've lost that means of "communication"

[Coconut]

I just fear that she won't pick up on them in such a limited window of time. I removed her from Facebook early on as I couldn't stop myself from stalking her account so I've lost that means of "communication"

That's not a bad thing, don't send her a friend request, the further away you are from her the better you will be. You also don't have a limited amount of time with her, you have a child with her, she will always be in your life.

I know it's the hardest thing you've ever had to do, read my sitch if you want, I was saying and doing the same things you are, as has just about everyone else here, but you are getting good advice, listen to it. Focus on you. If I remember correctly, you made daily goals for yourself, how are those going? Focus on those. Your gonna cry, and that's ok, let it out, but then get up and do something, don't lay in bed and wallow in it...

[dream]

You've got a long time before you get to that point. She will notice when it happens.

What are you doing in the meantime to get your life together? Do you have goals that you're working towards? What are they?

[KyleR]

I've decided to learn how to drive (just waiting for an instructor), I'm focusing on losing weight and becoming more confident with how I look and I know it's poor timing but I'm a best man at a wedding next weekend so focusing on that.

Must admit I'm dreading being at a wedding though.

[RSG]

I've decided to learn how to drive (just waiting for an instructor), I'm focusing on losing weight and becoming more confident with how I look and I know it's poor timing but I'm a best man at a wedding next weekend so focusing on that.

Must admit I'm dreading being at a wedding though.

That's good. Just try to keep into activities, and you, as much as possible. Try not to let her take over your mind. It'll drive you nuts. Get a couple books. I got my copy of Divorce Remedy today, I'm excited to start it.

[Coconut]

I've decided to learn how to drive (just waiting for an instructor), I'm focusing on losing weight and becoming more confident with how I look and I know it's poor timing but I'm a best man at a wedding next weekend so focusing on that.

Must admit I'm dreading being at a wedding though.

Loosing weight and being more confident are end results, you need to identify short term goals for you to achieve. Wanna lose weight, make a goal of riding bike for 1 hour three days a week, or walking for 1 hour, etc... As you start doing things, you can change your goals, I.e. Ride my bike faster so I go one more mile in that hour, etc... As you reach more of your goals, you will see your confidence grow.

Don't focus on diet right now, if anything, just skip the ice cream, donoughts, etc, and pick something healthier instead. If you start exercising, you will naturally start eating better.

Bad timing for the wedding for sure, I wish you the best with that. It will be good for you to be with friends, I'll pray for God to give you the strength to focus on your friends joy and happiness, do it for him and put your W out of your mind that night.

[RSG]

Yeah, yeah Kyle. What he said! Setting short and long term goals are really important.

[KyleR]

In all honesty I know my wife and no amount of positive change I make for myself is going to change her mind. Once she has something in her head she doesn't back down.

[RSG]

In all honesty I know my wife and no amount of positive change I make for myself is going to change her mind. Once she has something in her head she doesn't back down.

You are changing yourself for you. If you're only doing it for her, she'll notice that. Or you'll let it slip. You can't force it, because she will surely put up a bigger, thicker wall than the one that's already there.