I have read many of your posts, but never looked at your signature... I would have guessed many years had passed for you since your D, and this is how you collected so much wisdom. I realized today how recent it was when I read this:
Originally Posted By: Vanilla
I had another PTSD episode and down period. And I am super busy. Very little GAL though.
To see you are still in pain, I cried for you. You have done so much for this community, sacrificed so much of your time to help others, maybe that is the gift you were meant to give? Too bad none of us will ever meet you in person, or to let those around you know how much you have done for others.
Originally Posted By: Vanilla
I have turned a tiny corner in seeing WH as truly responsible for his choices and wanting him gone.
His personality issues should be addressed by him, not me.
Ironic that this is in the same post from you, and also something I wanted to reply to. What are we supposed to do? Make excuses for them to justify their behavior? Or be angry? Or both? I oscillate between these 2 feelings hundreds of times a day, making me feel like I am turning into a split personality. Dr Jeckyl in me wants to find W, tell her I forgive her, hold her and comfort her, give her the love her parents never gave her, make her feel safe, let her know I now understand her fragile condition, that I'll always be gentle with her from now on (well, I already did that once in a long hand written letter since BD). Mr. Hyde, wants to hunt her down and do bad things as revenge for the pain she has caused me and my children. Sounds like this is still a struggle for you also?
