Still here and need support

[poschan]

we just told d7. I did say that it was WAW choice. d7 cried but wanted to know about WAW new house and they just went to see it. I think I am in shock. WAW was so composed (say cold?). t didn't even seem to affect her. I seem to be ok right now. She plans to move out next week so that will be my next hurdle to deal with the loneliness when d7 is away. So this is the start of my new journey. I hope I get some sleep tonight and am able to focus tomorrow. I am waiting for the tears to come as they are just on the periphery. d7 said "so dad will be all alone?" WAW said yes and so will mommy. some R talk beforehand as I told her how I felt. WAW said she didn't want to be just roommates. She seems to place all the blame on me as she said I could have tried harder a long time ago. I feel numb

[collin]

Pos,
my personal feeling is, sometimes it feels good just to let out a good cry. Monday morning I had to go a site visit 1.5 hours away. The whole way there, while I was there and the whole back I felt like you, that at any given second I could be in tears. Before going back to work, I came home and just let out a good cry. Just to get it out. I felt better.

I am truly sorry about your situation. I would just do your best to GAL and move on. I have been thinking about different projects I can do around here.

I like that you said "this is the start of my new journey"..yes it is. Think about it like that and try to make the best of your new journey. Praying for you and your family.

[poschan]

Thanks Collin, I appreciate your thoughts and prayers. Its just so hard to grasp that the person I've been with for the last 14 years lacks the commitment and care that I feel. Have to accept that this is Gods plan no matter how difficult and strange that it may be. D7 appears to be excited about WAW new place and they have been back and forth moving stuff. Glad to see she is in high spirits. Starting to feel anger toward WAW now which hopefully motivates me further away from her. I had some old high school buddies invite me to golf Saturday and go to the Indy race on Sunday. Might be just the GAL I need and going to try and make it.
Have a peaceful night y'all.

[SH_]

poschan,

Anger is normal.
You sound to have done well in sharing with d7.
GAL for this weekend sounds awesome for you.
Be well this evening my friend.

[PacLove]

I cried a lot when we told D - my W was also cool and collected. I didn't understand it a at all... the first two weeks, every time I thought about D9, I broke out in tears, it goes away eventually. I'm fortunate enough that I have D 70% of the time and the 30% my W has it - I often am home, or at least see her for a bit of the time, but it still brings me pain that we are "not a family" anymore.

Let it out, it will pass!

[SH_]

How is poschan doing this fine morning?

[poschan]

ok SH - thanks for checking. one thing after another as it looks like we may need to sell the house as it may be too much of a burden for me to take on. one more thing to deal with! I've been reading your thread and it gives me hope to see how positive things are happening for you. any particular things you would recommend to read or view? I have watched a few ted talks but thought you might have something in particular.

[poschan]

Paclove - the WAW just seems to be very cold and calculating. hard to believe that I married this alien

[PacLove]

Poschan - sorry to hear... we are all dealing with some sort of aliens right now, my heart and prayers go out to you! Hopefully you find some way to keep the family home.

[Phoebe]

Yes, it seems the alien invasion theme is almost universal. I thought today was the day to tell D7, so I'm sorry to have missed it yesterday. It was hard for you, but I'm glad that it wasn't as tough on your D as you had anticipated.

Anything and everything that you are feeling right now is completely normal. Cry if you are sad, be angry, be numb, be whatever you feel at that moment. You are on your own journey now. Along the way you will come to terms with your grief and you will learn to heal. Don't pressure yourself and you will get there.

Be well, Poschan. I hope you get some sleep.