My approach was always brutal honesty. Maybe too brutal, I didn't filter enough what I said. I didn't use the "I feel...." approach, I used the "you have to..." approach too often. Examples: You have to stop spending so much. When are you going to actually come home? What do I have to buy you for you to want to be here? Where are the kids? When do I get to spend time with them? When are you going to be the adult? (Regarding W interacting with the children) Now what are you doing? (if W wasn't home, yet again)
A lot of those examples were in the last year when the kids activities got excessive.
