I am very new to this board but have had the SSM for over a year now. I read it at night after my H has rolled over and started snoring (usually at about 8 - 8:30 pm - I feel like a single mom). I read it in tears usually after my last child has gone to bed and I am alone as usual. The other night H actually made it to as late as 9:30 so i hopped into bed beside him (hopefully for some action) and he PATTED ME ON THE HEAD(!!!) and began to snore. I was up till midnight reading SSM. It brings me great comfort. Don't get me wrong - I love my H but i cannot stand the freeze out and he sees nothing wrong with it. Pardon me while i vent. We used to have an adequate sex life but he has hypertension and the doctor gave him HCTZ (which is very notable for these types of side effects). When I asked him to ask his doctor for something else instead to treat the hypertension, the doctor asked him why sex was so important to him(!!! - can you believe that!) So that was 2 years ago and we struggle with every other month if I am lucky. Now I am trying to wait for another 2 weeks to bring the subject up again because he has a very important work deadline coming up and I don't want to press him on this right now.
He seems to see nothing wrong with us but he senses my unhappiness. We really have a great life with a great family but this is very painful for me. I keep hoping things will change between us for the better. He tells me I am his best friend but I am beginning to not even want to be near him. How could he be so insensitive to my needs. I have tried everything - killing him with kindness, telling him outright and crying and yelling, nothing seems to get his attention. This has been going on for at least 9 years now. We have ML once this whole year.
