the 'i feel' approach is a way to help take some of the defensiveness away from being honest with people.
maybe not a true black and white issue here either...still figuring this one out
I tried this on my mother a couple times. I told her that something she said felt condescending. She blew up at me. Then made some comment about not knowing what condescending means. Wow, wrong person to test theories on!
My IC has a poster in her office.
Under one column is: Core self Love Caring Open Accepting Collaborative Thoughtful Curious/interested Gentle Authentic/Real Creative Requesting Flexible Forgiving Benefit of doubt Generous Approachable Reliable WISE
Other column: Reactive self Fear/anger Harsh Skeptical Stingy Defensive Quick to judge Make wrongs Blaming I win/I'm right Critical Stonewalling Accusing "Always" or "never" Demanding Disrespectful Keeping score Dumb
