You said you were not focused on saving the M, that it was all about you and protecting your heart. Last night, you practically fought her to keep her out of the MBR.
Today, you are questioning if you should allow her back into the MBR. My gosh, no wonder she plays games.
Look, I have said from the beginning you are still watching her for a reaction.....and you can claim whatever, but it doesn't change the fact you continue switching things around to see how she reacts to the latest thing you have announced.
I think both of you need family therapy. She does not appear very sound in moral conduct, and you are bouncing all over the place. How can you expect her to stand on solid ground when you can't be consistent in your own actions?
Maybe in her childhood she was not taught the high moral standards and values one usually expects from a married woman and mother of a small child, IDK. She continues to say she wants to work on the MR.....but her behavior says otherwise. She wants to have sex all the time, with you or someone else. IMHO, she's definitely seeking something.
My advice is for you to stop playing these games to see how she will react. If you don't want to be M to her (and at one point you said you didn't), then get a divorce. Don't tell you are going to be a bachelor for a year and then see how you feel. Stop trying to punish her and just make a decision and stick to it.
If you do want to be M, then lay down the boundaries to have respect your home and M, and stick to them. (And I don't think you have the boundary concept yet). If she won't comply, then S or D. You are simply prolonging this ugly situation. It sounds to me like she needs a lot of structured environment and behaviors, and she's not getting it from her hyperactive H.
Just please don't make anymore moves today. Don't tell her anything else about what you are going to do. You need to first make a decision and then decide how you plan to go forward with it. What do you really want?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
