I got advice from a lawyer and from what he said, I am getting more than average visitation at the moment. I have been advised to record my visits and the length of time I spend with the kids and he fears that once I find my own place, things are likely to change, requiring mediation to set structured times. At the moment, due to UK law, which she is adhering to, I may want to make my life easier and negotiate what I can with her unless they get messy. Ultimately, if I want to play hard ball, then it will start costing me alot of money and the outcome will not really change.
I think Sandi2 was right in that she resents me being in the house. She is quick to tell me when it is time to go and although she is being "friendlier" than she has been, she isn't the woman I married anymore.
This forum is about saving marriages, but to be honest, I can't see how this can be saved at the moment. She is still adamant about ending it even though it is difficult for her and is probably putting up a wall to protect herself.
What I find odd, is that neither of us are going to be better off after divorce. We have young kids and a house and although I am scrambling around trying to think of ways to rebuild my life and deal with the crushing loneliness, hers has not changed at all. She has the same routines and is content. She only really speaks to me about the kids but I wish she would drop her guard and show me some of the tenderness that she once did. Apart from the issue I had before, we didn't want for anything and had a normal family life. I am questioning everything right now and still find it hard to believe that she would not want to be part of what we had.
I guess I am trying to rationalize what has happened and think of what to do with myself now as I have programmed myself to be a husband and family man for the long haul. Wish there was something I could do to shock her into seeing what she will loose.
I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?
To add to matters...It's our 10th wedding anniversary on Wednesday. I want to acknowledge it in some way but I'm not sure how. Any suggestions? Should I write a letter or card?
I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?
I was thinking of just letting her know that I am thinking of her. She told me tonight that she is feeling very fragile emotionally and wants the anniversary to just be done with. She feels bad at asking me to leave when I hand back the kids and is obviously hurting right now.
I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?
Excile, definitely no card, DO NOT SEND flowers with a note saying "remembering all the good years", or any other acknowledgement of the anniversary.... Call some friends and make plans to go out, do not sit home alone that night, it will be a hard night.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
Well our anniversary passed and we communicated via messages, kinda supporting each other. she felt there were no regrets having being married but stated that if we could turn back time, she would have enrolled us in marriage therapy and then maybe we wouldn't have been in this situation. She continued that our future is in the hands of a higher being and what is meant to be will be..destiny...
What does that all mean? Is it common for a WAW to speak like that?
I am wondering weather I should even ask her to attend therapy. The future of this marriage is in her hands not a higher being!!
She has been reaching out to my mom, wanting her to be more involved with the children and go away for a weekend. Not sure if this is good news for the marriage.
any advice?
I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?
Maybe I missed something but it shows that you first signed up to this forum in 2010. Was that when you were in a different relationship or the current one?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
It was the current one. My w left me and we eventually reconciled after 9 months. She then decided that the grass wasn't greener and we started again. This time is different. There are no other men involved. She filed for divorce without any separation period. I am wondering if now she is conflicted and maybe thinks she was a too hasty in her decision..
I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?
