To sum this another way...........the H must take a stand. He is the lighthouse. She is out there in the waves being tossed around by her emotions. When she looks at him, she needs to see him standing tall and strong. He shines a beam of light to show her how to get back into a healthy MR. It is up to her to follow the lighted way or remain in stormy waters. When he tells her what it will take to save the MR, that is shinning the beam of light..........he is showing her the way back. It takes a great deal of strength to stand firmly and not crash under the strain. If the lighthouse is sending mixed messages.......well, you can see what a mess it could be.
Here is another anaology of the lighthouse that Sandi2 said in my thread, I thought it was a great explanation of what it means. Let them know what they have to do do to return to the marriage, and wait for them to do those things.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
