Doodler, your W has some huge issues to work on and maybe doesn't quite grasp that she does. I agree with Job that articles on ea or self help books will be ignored...for now.
ciluzen,
She does have huge issues, and I knew that coming into the marriage and I was okay with that. I helped many of her "alters" (many were children) through various issues. One of her alters had never been out trick-or-treating so I set up the house with Halloween decorations and we did trick-or-treating inside the house on Halloween-eve. That made her very happy.
I was willing to do almost anything to help her through her stuff; I always gave her lots of leeway in her behavior and allowed her plenty of room during her angry times. But hooking up with a creepy guy and adopting his family and leaving me and the boys behind was too much.
