My email... I need your decision by next week Friday please, i want the house on my name as soon as possible. You need to do what you think is best for you, not me.
Her reply... Where are you gonne get the transfer cost from? And it can take up to three months to get the house on your name as it have to be re-evaluated.
My reply... God will make a way.
I hope it never came across as pompous. It is the truth.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
My email... I need your decision by next week Friday please, i want the house on my name as soon as possible. You need to do what you think is best for you, not me.
I dont understand why you added the bolded part. You dont have to tell her what she needs to do. Are you her doctor? Her lawyer? Shes a big girl....she can do as she pleases.
Originally Posted By: DDJ
Her reply... Where are you gonne get the transfer cost from? And it can take up to three months to get the house on your name as it have to be re-evaluated.
Im not really sure you need to answer this....
Originally Posted By: DDJ
My reply... God will make a way. I hope it never came across as pompous. It is the truth.
Oh. You did. And yes. It did. Im sure of that.
I dont see why these are urgent messages. It's still very early in the US. Im guessing some of the moderators or other folks could chime in. Be patient!
Never thought that I was telling her what to do, by telling her to do what she wants. Will think about that.
I answered about the transfer costs, which i probably did not have to. Did take my time, will take more next time i guess.
She actually called me before i sent the initial email and asked me why i'm taking so long to respond. I said that I was still considering my response.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Well, thats the thing roist. I'm an out of the box thinker, I have no idea if living by myself will help make me more me. But i've never ever done it. I have not experienced being alone. Loneliness, yes. But never alone.
I want to be able to look back at this time and say that I did what I did to help myself become a better person. I believe that being by myself is necessary. All the signs point to it. It's being selfish, i know that. But i am seriously not considering her feelings. She will survive.
Obviously, I do not have control over my own plans, but I must move forward with them until God puts a plug in it and says no... which brings me to the next post...
If you are being selfish and your wife is being selfish, who on earth is prioritizing the needs of your son?
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
I'm still confused on WHY you are seeking to get the house in your name right now. It's a lengthy process that isn't going to get you any closer to your goals. You can have a legal separation without taking her name off of the house. You can detach from her while living with her. You don't NEED to have a year of bachelorhood to figure out what you want for your future. These are choices that you've made for yourself that conflict with what you say you want for yourself.
I agree, telling her "do what you want" is still telling her what to do. Think about all of the advice you've read on your threads... no one tells you to do what you want, because we know that you will. We can only guide you in the best way we know how.
Very true, well for now i'm looking after him mostly and he's sleeping in the bed with me. I'll have him wknds if we D or S, and I will be spending each day with him in the week, in the evening. If my WW wants to go out, i'll gladly take him home with me.
We have both agreed that we must have as little impact on him as possible. She will move very close by too. School will stay the same. But we do need to see a child psychologist, it's in the pipeline.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
thx dream, nothing is set in stone and i will reconsider my actions. At the end of the day they must achieve my goal of detachment.
I could just be convincing myself that bachelorhood is what i need, also due to the new job. Will think long and hard this wknd and finalise my decision by Monday.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Come we start fresh and leave this bad 5months behind us.
Lets rebuild us together and get our house back on track, I vow to leave the friends and focus on us and our marriage , rebuild the trust and you need to come closer to me.
Not to forget but move forward and learn and grow together.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
