Okay, my first bit of advice forthe confusion, is to stop trying to make sense of her actions and conversation. This is part of the rule that you believe nothing that she says and only half of what she does. By not trying to analyze it all in your mind, you will not be confused by it. I know, easier said than done, but you need to do it.
As for "acting" like a family. Here is where I would recommend that you avoid "acting" or viewing it as such. These situations are difficult, but I have found that you need to be a father in these moments and that can be done by thinking as a father to benefit the children.
My DB coach gave me some great advice that helps me. Try and view your W as a sister or really close friend. This way you will treat her well, with the love and respect one has for a sister. The behaviors are different than for a W. But in these settings you won't be acting, yet you will be kind. This is a win win for the kids, and your efforts in Dbing.
Now, move your focus to you and your goals. This is where your energy is needed right now. What day are you going to AA? What have you replaced your piano engagements with? What is your next activity with your children?
I'm here for you brother. Keep taking it one step at a time.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
