Ahmeds, You need to be more forgiving with yourself. Of course you feel all turned around after he contacts you. This man was to be your garment of protection and instead he hurt you in the most awfl way a spouse can hurt another. But you are taking the baby steps necessary to start detaching. This technique is more trial and error than an exact science. You try different things, the thing that brings positive change work, the thing that causes a spiral into arguing and conflict do not.
About exposing the affair, you will read different philosophies. In my case this is what I did and the consequences. I sent a certified letter to OW parents and I also called my in-laws and told MIL everything. The letter resulted in OW quitting her job and sending my H a NC text as well as a text to me profusely apologizing. (desired result but that was no guarantee) Telling my in-laws was a huge mistake. My MIL now constantly asks me why I was an inadequate wife that "drove him to find another woman." It's gotten to the point that I avoid calls from her. She is from another culture, a misogynistic one, that will lay the blame at the woman's feet regardless of how perfect she is.
If a divorce does occur in my case I do not plan on protecting H. If he lies and someone asks me about the divorce I will bluntly tell them it was infidelity. IS this the right thing to do? For me it is but I can generalize to everyone's situation.
M 10yrs T 13yrs BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce April '17-Letting go 2018 D busted DD8, DS6, DS3
