I personally don't like either reply. Do a bat call for Wonka. Wait for some advice here.

Putting your needs first is one thing. But it should be coherent with what you want long term. Is this going to do that for you? Do you know what you want long term?

Best wishes

R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together