I am not sure separation has anything to do with working on becoming who you want to be. I am not saying it is the wrong path as I am not fully up to date with your situation.But IMO achieving that state of mind you are striving towards is independent of your living situation.

Sure it may seem better/easier if she is not there. And yes W feels a consequence. Those have nothing to do with how you think. Why are you linking them so strongly.

Best wishes.

R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together