New to Site - Just found about another

[Zues126]

I'm reading coffee. I'm just not sure what you're expecting to have happen.

She SAID she was willing to work on the M at one point. She is ACTING impatient, disgusted, irritable, and manipulative (manipulative by calling you controlling, which Sandi points out is a WW's rebuttal when the betrayed party expresses valid concerns about her texting privately after a series of affairs, and manipulative by acting remorseful or throwing you crumbs and empty promises to keep you stringing along so she doesn't experience consequences for her behaviors).

What ACTIONS have you seen that she has taken to show a commitment to restoring a marriage and rebuild your trust?

If you are willing to live in an open marriage and be shat on indefinitely as long as she says sorry once in a while, what do you expect to change?

The only way something will change is if SHE changes or if YOU change. You can either stand there and hope that she changes, or you can change.

I respect that you are trying to change by DBing, and doing what you can to detach. But from my view it still looks like you're hoping that this helps her 'come around', and the reality is you have all of your eggs in the basket that she will. And unfortunately there is a non-zero percent chance that she won't.

My question to you remains the same. If you knew for certain that there was zero chance she would ever change this behavior, what would you do? How long would you remain in this situation? What would you do when you hit your limit? How many weeks, months, or years would have to go by before you had enough? Or would you live like this forever hoping she wouldn't leave you and you could preserve this 'marriage'?

Hard questions, but they are the ones you need to ask yourself. This day by day monitoring of her acts and manipulation and reevaluating the chances this will work itself out is a cheeseless tunnel. I was hoping you'd read my old threads as I mentioned so you could learn from my mistakes. I've been down that road my friend, no cheese at all.

Hang in and keep posting.