Now or .....?

[otw]

well I figure an update was due before the holiday weekend here in the US.

Not a whole lot to tell on the W front. Things haven't really changed between our communication except i am not initiating anything or asking anything.

I have not really received an answer regarding the question of going out.

She is still a little sick, but i know she is ok enough to go do her thing with friends.

She is def coming up on a busy time with her dance recitals and the house she is renting is looking to be sold so she will have to look for something.

The kids have said some things about her looking somewhere but also made mention to her talking to a friend then telling them she doesn't know what she will be doing yet and maybe move back! I know my kids are little and make things up in there heads so I just disregard these things. I try not to put them in the middle of stuff but my D7/8 hears everything!

Any way,
I have to be at inlays campground this weekend for a bit to help with concession stand i run for them. It is W weekend with kids, so long story short we are all going to be there together. Staying together in our camper. I actually expected this as it is her weekend with the kids and as the history proves she is willing to do things on these weekends. If she sis not have them I would believe she would not go.

Either way I am going to enjoy my time and the kids. We do all have plans when we get back to go to a festival in town that we have gone to for years now.

other than that, i have been busy!

Picking up a little rugby training, pilates, and gym everyday as usual. Kids stuff, work, and i have taken on some projects on my truck i have wanted to do.

House work and yard work has also kept me busy. Have a few friends in town as well and will get with them.

I do have to say that I had a few things that i didn't like that i found myself doing after W moved and I have moved past all of them and fell a lot better bout myself. Nothing crazy, just routines i found destructive, i.e...staying out late etc..

I also have to say that when all of this first happened i turned to religion as many of us have to find answers. I know i did this with fixing in mind. Lately I have started seeing things differently and really releasing a lot of things that I know i can not control.

Even though some of the stuff may seem small but when i focus on a few prayers and releasing control and knowing things will work one way or another for me then sitting back and looking at everything. I am shocked there are miracles everyday in my life small or big. Even things I find myself over analyzing then having anxiety about I stop look up and say this is not for me to control and the best will come and literally almost instantly something happens.
very strange.

I hope everyone can try and enjoy the weekend and live in the moment. I know i will be smacking myself to make sure I do!