Have i been making mistakes too long part 8

[SH_]

OK, This is my plan. feel free to correct me where you all think I my be making a mistake.

Having a plan is good. Don't be afraid to make some mistakes. Many will provide feedback, but trust yourself as well.

1. Stay sober: I plan to attend one AA meeting a week starting next week. I have too much going on this week to start.

Yes, I think many would agree this is a key part of the plan for you. This should be a priority for you in your healing process.

2. File for D: STBX has not yet filed and I originally said I wouldn't file because I didn't wasn't the D. However I feel that I need to move forward and get the ball rolling.

Only you can know if this is a good goal for your plan. My honest opinion for this though, would be to take care of your first goal first. This is a big decision and you want to be in the right place before making it. I encourage that you do not do it from an emotional place, and it may be best to do when you are "whole" and healed.

3. Open a new banking account: at this point we are still sharing an account and I am held responsible for taking care of all the bills including hers.

Protecting finances in separations is a good thing. Seek financial or legal counsel for this and then you will have the details that can aid you in making a wise decision.

4. GAL: I am going to stop playing piano at the clubs. If I am to remain sober this is important. As much as I love to entertain it scares me to be in those places. Im not sure what I will replace this with. maybe joining a gym?

This is a good idea. Are there other options to play the piano where alcohol is not involved? In my area there is a place called Organ Stop pizza. It is a family pizza place with this very cool organ that some folks play while everyone listens and eats pizza.
I would also encourage that you make a goal for the gym, or other activity during the times you plane to avoid the current places you are going to avoid.
It is always a good rule of thumb to replace an activity we want to stop with another that we can benefit from. IMHO.

5. Stop facilitating the STBX: I will no longer move, store, or pack her things. The things I have packed will be dropped off at her place.

Do you need her stuff out of your place? Maybe set her a deadline togged it? I don't really have a thought on this, other than what ever you do, do it for you and be kind as it relates to her.

6. Get the house ready for sale: too many things to list.

7. Focus on spending quality time with my children: Although STBX doesn't see it, they are hurting and need me to help them through this ordeal.

Always a good idea for us LBH. The children need a stable parent, and we can be that. Learn the things that can aid you in being the best dad ever. You have some making up to do I am sure with your situation, but it is never to late.

Get these going and stick to it. I am proud of you for admitting you have an issue and seeking out assistance. It will be a long road and with its challenges. Take it one day at a time and you can do this.