I read your initial post again. I think you are not getting much feedback here because your sitch is in a difference place than many of the posters. It seems that people often come here when their spouse has walked out or in an A; they come here in complete crisis. What also makes it hard for me to give you feedback is because it sounds like you have been working on it and doing a great job! You are really trying and even have been in MC for a year. Your insight into yourself and willingness to try and change is perfect. You are reading about DB and trying to detach, GAL, and do 180s. You are also a recovering Nice Guy, and I know that is not easy. Give yourself some credit!
In terms of what else you can be doing, I honestly don't know. I think you could stop being hard on yourself; you put yourself down and seem to hold W in a higher regard. Part of recovering from NGS (I just made that up by the way), is recognizing your worth. Part of the DB philosohpy--detaching and self-love--is so we can discover our worth. So as you are reading, growing, taking care of yourself, just know how valuable you truly are.
Also, keep in mind that this takes a long time. It can take many months or even years to find this self discovery, and it may take her longer to even realize it.
-Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
