Yeah, me neither. As I said, we really don't get to know another person's perspective unless they tell us. Who knows what the wife thinks she's accomplishing by pushing them together. If she really is pushing on purpose, she obviously has a reason. Does she believe they are having an EA?
ciluzen,
I don't know if my wife's EA friend's wife (I'll call her Fanny) believe's they are having an EA, but I don't think she does. My wife has told me that she's talked to Fanny about my believing that it's an EA, but that doesn't mean much because my wife knows how to carefully parse her words.
Fanny calls my wife and her husband "twins." Physically they couldn't be more different, and from my perspective, they're very different in personality, disposition and level of intelligence. My wife's EA friend (aka Dick) is a bit of a dull boy.
As an example of something Fanny would do, she would "front-run" for her husband. When Dick started calling my wife at home, I didn't care for that and I let my wife know that I didn't like it. So, Dick stopped calling and Fanny started calling; my wife would talk to Fanny for a minute or two and then Fanny would pass the phone to Dick and he'd talk to my wife for however long they wanted to talk. I've always thought that was very weird. Fanny has done a number of things like that; it's almost as if she wants her hubby to go to the OW (unfortunately it's my wife).
My wife is the victim of childhood sexual abuse and supposedly her EA friend and his wife are victims of childhood sexual abuse as well. People that have been sexually abused early in life tend to have poor boundaries and are often victims of rape later in life (my wife is in that category).
When my wife first hooked up with Dick I was supportive of the friendship because he had (supposedly) first had experience with the kind of abuse she suffered and could offer her support. But, there was another woman where Dick worked (which was where my wife worked) that was also the victim of child sexual abuse and evidently Dick and that woman where deep into sex talk. Eventually things exploded at work (it's a much longer story); when I heard about that, it raised a huge red flag and I started thinking of Dick a bit differently.
Just for the record, Dick is a 61 year old grandfather; he's fat and frumpy. I don't know what he's got, but the abused women seem to like him.
Early this year, my wife and I went to MC and my wife only made it to three session (I had to beg her to go to the third session). I started going to the MC by myself and she said that my wife was absolutely in an EA with Dick. I asked her why Dick's wife didn't seem to mind and she just said, "Some women are like that."
There's a lot more to the story, but I'll stop there for now.
Thank you for all of your feedback, it's greatly appreciated.
