Or you get used to living with the pit... It seems to have been there for two years for me, coming and going a little.

I notice that I get shaky when WH gets angry at me. That's the worst part for me. I shouldn't care at this point but I can't stand it when he shuts me out or is angry. Maybe because it's been that way for so many years that I'm stuck in that pattern.

I was reading an article about gaslighting and a lot of what H did fell into that category, although I don't think he was calculating when he did it like it was in the movie. But a lot of 'you're overreacting', 'just let it go/stop beating a dead horse', etc. when I reacted to his angry outburst and rages and he felt he was done venting. Eventually, I started shutting down when it happened and I was then accused of 'not showing any emotion'.

Sorry, think I went off on a tangent there...

M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17