Out of In house S- Start of two homes (10)

[vise82]

Hey,

Why does this have to be so tough?

So W Messaged back if I would have the kids all ready dressed and fed for 6:30 in the morning before I bring them to her house.

I have not replied but at that time I would have to drag them out of bed an house earlier for that to happen. And for the one day she works late. Of course I can do it, but is it best for the kids?

Then she messages me about how she will be gong to her house tonight to clean and if I want I could bring the kids to see her house.

Then she messages me about at her new place there will be fireworks on there street. She invites me to that.

First thing I think is how is she going to introduce me? It breaks my heart because she invites me but based on the S agreement we are not together. DO I GO?

[pinn]

DO I GO?

Hell no

[vise82]

I hear you.

I can say I have a lot of work to do at my house.

I need reasons because I don't want to just give in and go along. My heart wants to thinking it will get me closer to W. My mind say no because that is DBing and that will get me closer to a new MR and commitment.

[vise82]

Ok so I am thinking of replying, that for tonight I have to pick up some stuff before I get the kids and then feed them and then I was going to bring them to my place.

As for Sunday, thanks for inviting me. I can see how it goes but I have a lot of things to do at my new place.

[vise82]

Hey,

Met a guy from work while I was out. He has been off for some time with health issues and he was asking how I was and I told him about the separation. He its the first person I have told from my work. I asked him not to say anything but you know how that works.

I am off work now for two weeks to get my house ready and moved. I am sure by the time I get back most people will know.

So W and I had the sitter look after the kids while we both separately worked on our new houses. She had her parents and girl friend over to help her paint. She is going way over board with multi color stripped and large die cut decals for the kids rooms.

I am just with my self trying to get things ready neat and
clean.
I was looking for the paint rollers and W lies to me about only taking one of them, Then she calls me 15 min after she left, she is at the paint store she can buy one for me and I can pick it up at her house. I declined and said I know we had two of them I will find it.

She was really trying to get me to go to her new house.

Things are going good at the new place and it feels good. Was sad for a bit thinking how can she leave me like this.

She is out tonight to an event that we went to last year, Had an amazing time and after it was the last time we ML. I have been thinking about that. It seems like a milestone of time to move forward, its been a year. I have put in the time, she has not changed her mind.

I had the kids with me and she was getting ready to go. She was going with family, her parents and cousins tonight. I tried to keep the kids out until she left, I get home with them and she is still home.

So I get the kids snacks and get out of there as fast as I could. She was all dressed up looking amazing all for not me.

Its anger I feel now, I have the kids and she is out. And now I get to see if she comes home or not or at what time and how drunk she will be.

I am angry because this is not how a family should be and all because how selfish she is being. I am mad because she thinks I am not good enough for her? I hate that. I am so made that she is out right now looking for another man and she invites me to a fire works thing at her new place.

Hell no.

I have my new place I have work I need to do there.

Why do i have to love this person so much? Or as how everyone else puts it, be so attached to her. Same thing.

[vise82]

Hey so I am continuing to move and set up my place. Mean while we still have to look after the kids.

W wants me to look after them after school because I am off work and i can work on my place all day.

I just dont get it, today she asked me to use my tools for house, her dad asked. Yesterday she asked to me to cut her lawn after I finished the MR house. I said she can walk the lawn mower over to her house to cut it when I am done.

She tells me I Real nice and gets mad.

I ignore and continue to move my life to the new place.

The night of the fire works at her court I did not go. I was busy at my place. Kids asked me to go. I just said it time for you t spend with just your mother.

I had to drop off one of the kids there and I almost threw up as there she was talking to neighbors as the party was starting.

I did not even get out of the van.

Now some how W gets me to make dinner before she gets home so that she can just leave to go to her house right after work. I dont mind as she made dinner last night.

So I will look after the kids till they go to bed, then I can continue to work on my place at night.

So much work to do for this move.

[vise82]

Hey,

Still moving.

I let her dad use the tool but she gets mad that I did not give the compressor with it. I told her her dad has one. She starts saying how she is going out of her way to help me she would like to see that from me.

I just made her and the kids dinner at her request so she can leave to go to her house. Then she gets mad over that. I know there is a boundary there some where she crossed. Not sure what it would be.

I said nothing as I thought she was trying to get into an argument with me.

I let it go but I wanted to say really? your breaking up the family and you want me to be accommodating to you?

I am trying to do things with action not words. She is not getting her way she spews. I ignore.

I am finding it hard to get motivated to do the work needed for this move.

I find the new house empty. It depresses me a little. I just find myself wanting to lay down. I am so tired. I need a kick in the a@@ to get going on it.

I did get a some jobs done yesterday.

More work to do today.

[otw]

Vise
Just wanted to let you know i am here. I know it is hard, but you are doing great. Dont try to rationalize her actions right now.
I think you are handling things fine. Let her get angry. she will eventually realize she has brought this on and you are not going to be there for her. It has to happen as part of the process.

dont feel bad about being tired and not wanting to do things. get what you have to get done to move in and then the rest will get done eventually. remember your body is beyond stressed and the tired feeling is telling you to rest.

dont ignore it

[vise82]

I am in complete move mode.

I will be done moving my garage stuff in a couple of days then next week will be my house stuff.

W was getting mad at me for spending so much time on my garage stuff and so little on the house stuff. So I stayed and helped her pack some house stuff, well my half of the house stuff. She was done after an hour. I have been moving stuff all day.

We are going through stuff and dividing it up.

Thank OTW I will get through this. But on the other side I dont know what it will look like. We spend so much time together now that It will be so different because I wont be inviting her to things.

SHe definitely wants me around for family stuff but not other things. Will see how it goes. The hard part is to not get all soft on her telling her i will miss her.

More stuff to move later, going to rest now

[vise82]

Hey,

Well I am off on my way to live on my own now. 10 more days left for in house S.

I have been taking kids to school in the morning from my new place, its nice to live close enough to walk them.

Was looking at the hands of the other parents there seems to be alot with no rings. I was walking home realizing how my view of the world has been shattered. I just did not grasp that so many married couples are splitting up.

I am still holding on to hope. Getting a little impatient also. W has no problem being around me now, we ate dinner together again as a family, She was asking about my place.

Its hard to believe that after a year and now I can see some progress with this.

My soccer GAl starts up again. I can see a lot of possibilities with the garage i now have. There is a biking trail near my house. I will have enough to keep busy for a while.

So I wait, act like I am moving forward, building my life with out W.

I have a scout dinner I will be bringing the two boys to tonight. W cant go, she works late.

I am having a hard time holding back pursuing her. I think give it time. She used to be crazy in love with me. I mean that has got to be still there in her somewhere. I would love to know if she still finds me attractive.

Time will tell. back to moving.