Have you tried waiting some time before responding to her texts? Even if it's a minute or 3 minutes... there seems to be a lot of texting going on instead of detaching.
My thoughts about what she said: She knows you won't agree to what she wants - Prepare yourself to make changes to her agreement whenever she finally has one written up. I would start thinking and maybe even write down some thoughts of what my agreement would entail (keep private/secret) to prepare yourself for the potential battle.
You've hurt her over past months/years - Again, she is re-writing history and projecting on to you. She's the one having an affair.... yet you hurt her??
Pictures of the kids - Is this necessary? It's going to be a long 17 years of taking pictures of your son and sending them to her every time he's in your custody.
