So she called me yesterday to talk about the D. I asked her why she wasn't getting the papers, to which she said that she knows I won't agree to what she wants. It then somehow turned into her telling me how much I hurt her over the past couple months and past couple years. I tried to validate as much as possible without saying much. This went on for about an hour. She's texted this morning wanting pictures of the kids and such. The big mistake I made was responding in a 'sexual' manner to one of her texts. That didn't go over well, but we still seem on decent terms today.
Me: 38 y/o W: 38 y/o Together: 10 yrs Married: 7 yrs S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15) WBD: Sep '15 W's EA confirmed Oct'15 W Filed Dec '15 Personal awakening Mar'16
Have you tried waiting some time before responding to her texts? Even if it's a minute or 3 minutes... there seems to be a lot of texting going on instead of detaching.
My thoughts about what she said: She knows you won't agree to what she wants - Prepare yourself to make changes to her agreement whenever she finally has one written up. I would start thinking and maybe even write down some thoughts of what my agreement would entail (keep private/secret) to prepare yourself for the potential battle.
You've hurt her over past months/years - Again, she is re-writing history and projecting on to you. She's the one having an affair.... yet you hurt her??
Pictures of the kids - Is this necessary? It's going to be a long 17 years of taking pictures of your son and sending them to her every time he's in your custody.
So she called me yesterday to talk about the D. I asked her why she wasn't getting the papers, to which she said that she knows I won't agree to what she wants. It then somehow turned into her telling me how much I hurt her over the past couple months and past couple years. I tried to validate as much as possible without saying much. This went on for about an hour. She's texted this morning wanting pictures of the kids and such. The big mistake I made was responding in a 'sexual' manner to one of her texts. That didn't go over well, but we still seem on decent terms today.
Usually it only takes touching a hot stove once or twice before you learn that it hurts and not to do it again.
Sigh .....
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Yup. She is trying her hardest to keep dropping just enough crumbs to keep you on the line.
Re-focus back on you. Her texts can wait. I know, it's easier said than done. Which is why I forced myself to wait X time before replying. Eventually, I was able to stop replying all together unless necessary. Keep at it and you'll get there.
