No No No! The obligation you have is to take all the tools given to you and use them! The books, the comments from him, the advice from your friends, etc.
I'm not saying you have not come a long way, because you have. You have looked directly at lots of things that you needed to look at, as painful as it was.
Go back to your goals. It just seems to me that you are slipping into a bit of the old Myrrh, and wondering why things are not getting better.
Remember that it takes lots of time to fix a lot of this stuff. Get into your apartment, and get comfortable with yourself for a bit. It seems to me that you really thought you needed that. You do! Your H does too! If you back off for awhile and give him space, it will BE O.K! I just get the impression that you are in too much of a hurry, and have an irrational fear that he will run off with someone new or forget about you if you don't somehow keep yourself fresh in his mind. Relax, Myrrh!
Don't rush to anything. You will feel different tomorrow. And the next day, and the next....
