A Glass of Myrrlo

[Lyrael]

Mer (and slowly!)-
Number One: That info from the Answers book (which my boss ordered, so I get to read at some point soon!) is both really helpful and outrageously frustrating. I did manage to be kind to him (I was posting my rant when he walked in the door). It was a rant. I had lost my temper completely. If I could pick out any one thing that just really irritates me about him, this whole coming home late/not calling would be the biggie. It plays into MY fears about cheating/lying - something else I need to consider.

Something that is interesting...I keep coming up against this same lesson over and over. Letting go of him: i.e. not nagging him by phone (pumkin, pumpkin, pumpkin) and not screaming at him when he isn't able to be where I need him to be when I need him to be. Sooo...how to adjust his behavior without issuing a consequence? Well, I guess to create an overall imprint of me and home in his mind that's positive, low-pressure, and comfortable. Well, hell, that will be frustrating to create. I can't wait to read that book - I think I underestimate how difficult it is to deal with the behaviors associated with ADD, not to mention understanding and knowing what they are.

I would really like to create a situation (ideally) where I spend a couple nights a week at our house, and the rest at my new apt. Our house is a lot closer to my work, so I think if I frame it in terms of conveniance, and can avoid being the needy/naggy/mean person, it will go well.

Look, I'm enrolling myself in Beginning Marriage 101! I don't need to call Dustin. I can leave him notes at the house, or e-mail him, or IM him. Most (probably 80%) of our fights are on the phone. Maybe I should just stop using it as a communication tool with him. That way I can CONSIDER (that darn word again) if I really need to urgently speak with him about whatever it is I need to address, or if it is something I should go mull over in my Considering Cave.

This sounds like a great plan - up to now, it something I have NEVER been able to do! I am going to have to trick my mind into behaving like I can't call him - should I pretend he is out of town for a couple of days, and that way every time he shows up, it will just be a wonderful surprise? Maybe I could pretend he went to that husband boot camp...hmm.

I am just going to let things be for a couple days until I get the phone stuff straightened out. Then there's my trip out of town later this week. I am so excited! It will give me some time to unwind and not worry about anybody for awhile - except ME!

It seems like I am going to be presented with this particular lesson until I learn it! Oh, btw - H and I had a lovely night relaxing together and snuggling, holding hands, etc - his initiation. I really love him. I really like him. This will get better with time, I am convinced!
Hugs to all,
Myrrh