I'm pushing her out of the house so that I can be alone for the first time in my life. But I'm not pushing her out of my life or head.
I need to find myself as much as she does. Get my life in order, rebuild and then see what happens. By giving up on her, i'm not giving up on my M, i'm saying that I have no control, i'm giving her the space to find herself. And for me to find myself too.
Im having a lot of trouble reconciling all this. You say you aren't pushing her away. But you're forcing her out of the house.
You say you're giving her space, but you aren't. You're pushing her!
You say that you can't rebuild yourself with her around. I'm having a lot of trouble buying it.
I see your words. But your actions say another thing to me. It reads like you are hurt and angry and are punishing her for doing that to you. I don't believe space will inherently help you to detach.
If you're pushing her out, you aren't focusing on you.
