H called me on the way home from work. He was actually annoyed that someone else had called him when he left and kept him on the phone, so he didn't have more time to talk with me! We continued a little where we left off earlier and talked a little about the early years. I told him that he was always good enough, that neither of us were of course perfect, but that I never, ever considered him not good enough. It actually sounded like a burden lifted off of him. He said he appreciated hearing it and thanked me. And he apologized for something I said I had felt some resentment for.
A little later I asked him if he would do me a favor - tell SD that it was wrong of him to ask her to keep his secrets. He really didn't like that. He said that he told her when she was there that she should keep in contact with me. (How can she do that while keeping his secrets.) He also tried to say it was now all out so what's the point. I said I thought it was important that he specified it. And that nobody would think lesser of him for trying to make some amends, on the contrary. He said he would do it.
I didn't say it to him, but I'm sure there will be future secrets (a wedding?) and him saying it outright to her will make a difference.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
