Still here and need support

[Phoebe]

Personally, I'd try taking one ASAP to see how you react to it. Then, as long as that trial was fine (expect to feel like yourself, just with some of the edge taken off), I sure as heck would take one in advance of something I knew was going to be a massive trigger. You do not want your first experience with these meds to be under the worst case scenario circumstance, though.

I would say that you should do anything possible to be in the best and calmest shape you can be for Friday's conversation. You will be less likely to react in a way that you will regret in the future. Try the meds now, though. It's not a weakness to help yourself. Don't make perfect the enemy of the good. You won't win any extra brownie points on the day of your final reckoning because you didn't take a silly little pill.

I deeply regret not taking my meds before the last time I saw my WH. It went badly because I was ill-equipped to cope because my anxiety was out of control. I messed up because I was too proud to have him see me rummaging in my bag for the stupid pills. Pride goeth before the fall, right?