Still here and need support

[poschan]

Hard to get motivated today couldn't get out of bed. I gave my self permission to not be okay and rest. I fear the talk with d7 on Friday and it keeps looping through my mind. I also fear the future without her here everyday and it saddens me deeply. I know I need to focus on today but it's not easy. Seems to be a vicious cycle of ups and downs with way more downs right now. Friends keep saying in 1 or 2 years you'll look back on this time and it will look totally different. I agree but that doesn't help the here and now.