She came over and talked last night, as we had planned. It went well. We spoke like we've never spoken before. I opened up, I got teary eyed. She apologized for falling into the trap with him. And for things going the way it did. She has accepted that its her actions that caused her to do what she did. Not my actions, not her childhood, etc.
We discussed a lot. Basically, we agreed to let the dust settle. Her heart is not ready yet. I'm not completely ready yet. We both re confirmed to not date anyone else. To finish what we have one way or the other. That we would both have to be 100% ready to enter into this again. No half a...ed stuff.
I validated the crap out of her. Used everything that my coach told me. She needs me to be emotionally available. I told her a lot. And she cried in happiness a few times. Im happy that It went the way it did. I was hoping for more, but ill take what I can get. I want this to be right. and im willing to wait, or bail out.
I told her the door isnt closed, but the time isnt here yet. She told me that its over with him. But that he's still in her mind everyday. I understand that. Hopefully this is all just a matter of time.
we both talked about the changes that we see and have seen in each other. this is all brand new ground for both of us. i cannot get over how different it feels this time around.
she didnt seem wayward at all last night. ( but im not convinced its fully over yet) im just going to continue to keep distance. i really hope i didnt mess up the process. but i dont feel as if i did. i was not needy, or angry. and i left things open ended and pretty much had to ask her to leave, or she would have wanted to talk all night.
