WAS or what (6)

[SH_]

roost,

I think it is awesome that you are studying and researching how to be a great parent. We always here that there is no manual for being a parent or a spouse, but in today's day and age there is so much information. If we actively engage in learning and trying things we can make a better outcome instead of just doing whatever.
Thanks for sharing and I tip my hat to you for doing this and moving forward in spite of the challenging situation you are going through.

[roist]

Thank you sad hub.

It is amazing how complex the parenting concept really is. Stuff I considered good parenting, experts explain why it isn't good long term. So in essence no matter what you do there is an expert to say why you shouldn't!!!

That being said I agree we have more access to more information than ever before. I have opened my eyes and don't intend to reshut them . I think many people live their lives with blinders on and that catches up with them. That is seen here with most newbies. No going back to that.

Thanks for your support and kind words

[Vanilla]

Trust your higher power Roast.

It's doing you proud.

V

[Vanilla]

Roist not Roast.

Lol

Sorry

V

[roist]

Another wise woman told me that too V.

[roist]

Hit a low tonight.

Not a down low, but a big dip in motivation. Really asked myself why continue. But my alternatives don't look any better.

Snooping revealed that my W cannot envisage only seeing her kids every two weeks and it is impossible to talk to me. I think she hates the situation as much as me, but is making no obvious effort to change things one way or another. So status quo is the reluctant choice.

Maybe I should test which she would choose between separating and trying.
Which is the least envisaging (not seeing kids all the time or being with me)?

Michele says we should raise the alert to maximum a year before calling it quits. I am reluctant to guess how much longer I will stay like this but another year seems a bit too long. But I think Michele meant the warning to be issued by the WAS and not the LBS.


Maybe I am impossible to talk to. Though she has never sat me down to talk. I will reflect on this, but the expression leading a horse to water springs to mind.

A few hours ago I reread some marriage advice/articles and reminded myself of why I am standing toe to toe against such a battle. My reasons are good. My objective eye sees reasons to hope.

Mowgli. I guess the rock is only human after all!

Thanks for letting me share.

[roist]

In the expression above I meant my w as the horse reluctant to talk.

I will also clarify that I Snooped for the first time: n ages because I was down. And not vice versa.

[roist]

Cadet,

Can I have your reading of my situation and what you would suggest? I value everyone's opinion here but I'd really appreciate your views.

I also wanted to ask how much work is involved in temporarily unhidding my earlier threads? I am not sure I want to but maybe by looking back I can evaluate better my path. I am interested in particular to compare my early goals/actions to now. Will be interesting to see if I have really made the changes I wanted to. Though part of me does not want to be reminded of how bad I was at handling my situation.

[SH_]

Good morning roist, I am not cadet, but I am here to support you.

You can see all of your posts if you click on your screen name and select view posts.

Looking back can be of benefit, but do it in a manner to learn from, not to dwell on.

Keep moving forward, keep healing, keep learning. Your recent posts show progress.

You need to recognize this.

[roist]

Thank you SH. You have helped me twice today. I listened to the talks you suggested to Pheobe earlier.Helped recenter me where I am going. I like much of your advice and work on yourself.

You seem to be doing good. At the very least you are learning and connecting hugely with your D.

I appreciate your support.

I wanted to look back to be sure I hadn't forgotten about an important action I intended doing. It is easy to get sidetracked; n this roller coaster! So yes it was looking back to move forward. I'm heading towards better things.