Karen-
What a great post! Well, my Friday was a little crappy, but not earth-shatteringly so, I guess. H stayed at his shop last night, because he is in the midst of some weird hyperactive fit and trying to get this project done. I got pretty mad that he wasn't coming home (DAMN my expectations!) and kind of let him have it. But, I read a really good novel (it was actually a stream-of-consciousness book about depression) and went to sleep after a glass of wine. At least I was able to go a week without the anxiety erupting!

To answer your question about mental/physical energy - I have been thinking about that quite a bit lately. I am somewhat hindered by the fact that money is pretty tight right now, because I would LOVE to join a gym. It's hard for me to exercise other ways -I have to have child care - although I might try taking him for a walk in the park.

Honestly, I am still working on building up a life for myself after struggling for so long with depression. I try to enjoy small things - family get-togethers, good books, good food, good wine...whatever time with my husband I have. I love to dance and listen to music, and honestly I really love aerobics, especially step - I remember a time in my life when I exercised a lot, and I DID feel better about myself. I used to be very physically active, and have really let go of that part of myself. I love to be outside, even if that means hiking forever and roughing it totally. I would love to go backpacking again - I haven't done that in a long time. Spring is my favorite season, so when it is really nice and balmy outside, I like to go and sit on my front porch and just hang out.

As for what Dazed said...to me, my "demons" are my fears. I am intensely afraid of being abandoned, and being alone. I am actually reading kind of a good book "Codependent No More" that seems to really speak to my fears and problems - my intense need to control, my attempts to force things to happen instead of letting them happen. All because I am afraid to face myself and my feelings...I am really trying to work on that. I have actually come a long way. I remember a point where I couldn't be alone in the house for an evening without having an anxiety attack. And that's unlike me, because growing up and while I was a teenager, I really enjoyed alone time - I thought and dreamed and read a lot, and those things made me very happy. I had a rich inner life, and a fairly strong sense of self, until it came to being around my dad - then I did whatever it took to make him happy with me. I have a problem with getting close (mostly in intimate relationships) and then losing myself - then I get angry at whoever I am close to for not meeting the needs I haven't expressed. Actually, my R/M/whatever it is right now is teaching me something valuable. My husband and I are very different in some ways, and I am trying to learn to let him just be who he is, and then evaluate later if I can deal with that. I am working on being with him because I want to be, not because I NEED to be.

That's funny - I think the thing I have to work hardest at in my life is simple enjoyment! Betsey has asked me to set pleasure goals, and you kind of asked me...hmm.

I did find some Merlot - the brand I bought is fairly dry, but I have had some mellower ones..could it be that I enjoy cheap wine?!? I had just a small glass last night and felt really tipsy, but had a lot of fun listening to music and dancing. Oh, I really like to write poetry as well - I am having fun using my Haiku muscles in Beren's thread over at Just for Fun. I used to want to be a writer, but I suffer from a lack of self-confidence in that area. I love being creative, and scrapbooking.

I enjoy stupid and sometimes raunchy humor - I am an unashamed fan of Monty Python. I absolutely love to laugh, and love being around people who make me laugh (H is really funny ). I love animals. I didn't get to have many pets growing up - fish - but I have had cats almost constantly since I moved out of my parents' house.

I am really interested in my Irish heritage, and I love historical re-enactment. That's something I used to do with my Mom and Dad, but they haven't done it lately. Hee hee - I know you didn't ask for an "all about me" essay. but it is kind of fun to sketch out who I am and what I enjoy, instead of detailing all the regrettable things I've done and mistakes I've made.

I sometimes forget how far I've come in the last year...so, what do you like to do for fun?
Big hugs,
Myrrh

One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.