continued detachment, anxiety, and joys of limbo

[Phoebe]

Well, I had a good day! (Yeah!!!!!)

I saw my therapist and for some reason I felt incredibly awkward talking to him today. Maybe we're getting closer to the harder subjects? The I saw my GP, and she doubled my SSRI dose and gave me a higher dose of hydroxyzine for sleep. We'll see how it goes.

I went for a walk with the woman who hit on me, and she understands that I am not interested. She even suggested setting me up with her male dentist! Um... nope. I'm not interested in dating in any way shape or form right now - still married, still in limbo, still in... whatever state I'm in! She laughed and said she thinks sex would be good for me! Kind of funny, and I'll take it in the spirit it was intended - she wants me to feel better, just like everyone else. Anyway, I had fun talking and walking, so that was good. I'd be totally comfortable walking with her again.

I lost another of my chicks today, actually just a few minutes ago, so that was a bit of a bummer. She looked off this morning, so I wasn't that surprised. Still, it kind of svcks to lose two chicks within the first five days. Last year I didn't lose any. Chicks are delicate little things, I know, but I hope that's the end of the dying. I've done everything I can at this point. Their water has probiotics, electrolytes, and a medication to treat the protozoa that is almost certainly the cause of the two deaths. Nothing left to do but watch and wait.

So now I'm off to look up all the good things that everyone suggested I research. Some TED talks, and some specific experts.

I hope that it's a good night for everybody, with some high quality sleep.