The waking up at 4:30 came out of my questions, he didn't volunteer it. He says it's like a partnership, it's not about passion. He just wants the peace and quiet and no demands of any kind.
I definatly see some similarities in our husbands, although I didn't have to deal with the pain of having an affair thrown in my face (although some pretty big suspicions) It makes one feel completely disposable to be valued for something like that. I totally relate! Is it a weird engineer thing? My husband actually told me something like, he could never meet my needs for physical and emotional affection and I could never meet his needs for domestic support. That neither of us are compatible. When I asked him what he was looking for he actually told me "someone like my mother" . ( I am the first to admit his mother is superwoman )
Zues, my husband never wanted to be needed. I am pretty sure he would never go for someone that was dependent on him. (Our finances were always kept separate and we divided most things up) He told me he would never even get a pet because he didn't want the responsibility. He was not needy either though. Very independent.
I understand the desire to diagnose and understand the how's and whys of our spouses. I agree it really doesn't make a difference or solve anything though..unfortunatly.
