Myrrh, All I can say is, you're young yet. I know that sounds patronizing, but it isn't meant that way! I am impressed that you are on this track so early in the game. Oh if I could have realized that I was a crazymaker that long ago!!!
You recognize many triggers for you. That's half the battle.
You can't change things at this point. All you can do is "be." It is completely what Dustin needs too. Just enjoy today, don't spoil it by worrying about tomorrow.
I wish I had better words for you. But, as simple as these are, they are what is best for you.
