I only have a few minutes, as I have to get kiddos, but I will check back tonight. My heart aches for you. It truly does. I have been there and I know the devastation and crisis that you are in.
I completely agree with Lim. I am also going to hit you with a 2*4 because I think you can take it and I think ultimately it is what you need. Sweetie, let him go. He is done. Everything he is saying and doing is telling you that.
He doesn't understand why you would wear your ring because he wants out of the M. It hurts, but it makes sense, and a lot of people take them off when S. He is making it clear he wants no R talk and to build nothing; he doesn't want a friendship with you either--that may be because he thinks you will pursue more. He only wants to live there because it suits his needs--and he is telling you that. He also is thinking about dating. I have read all of your posts and I would not be surprised if he already has been. Everything he is doing and saying--his sharp 180, his coldness, his firm boundaries, indicate someone in an A.
But what I care about far more than any of that crap, is you. This is about YOU now. You have not been well--you admit this--and now he is giving you the gift of time. It is time to release him--from your day to day life and even more slowly from your every thought. You deserve better than this. And I am worried about him living next door, because seeing him, and just thinking about seeing him is causing you so much distress and anxiety. So please do not help him out here--he has broken your heart and left you in the dust. Now he wants to move in because he can't afford his own place? And he is already telling you that you may see him with OW?
These are huge red flags! You do not have to do anything today, tomorrow, or next week. Take it day by day, deep breathe, start allowing your mind some rest from him. DB is not just about showing him that you are detaching, it is more about learning to self love. It takes a very, very long time.
You can do this. Baby steps. And when you learn to love yourself and let him go, that is when you can start living your life.
-Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
