W You never seem to have an answer for that? What is your purpose, Craig? What is it that you want? What is the push to hold on? I've asked numerous times to draw up something or to talk to me about why we can't come to a conclusion outside of the courts, but you never have an answer. I want to believe the best in you, but you make it extremely difficult.
Me "wife", you know what I want. I've told you many times. I'm not interested in these type of conversations any further. I want to parents these kids, that's my number one focus right now. I hope it is yours as well.
W It's always been my focus. I just find it hard to believe that's your only focus
Me: 38 y/o W: 38 y/o Together: 10 yrs Married: 7 yrs S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15) WBD: Sep '15 W's EA confirmed Oct'15 W Filed Dec '15 Personal awakening Mar'16
You're not terrible at this at all CRW, you're a man that invested his life into something that no longer wants to be a part of his life.
In every business venture there comes an "opportunity" to divest, take what you can, learn what you can and just walk away. A poorer man financially, but a wiser man none the less.
Rebuild your empire around yourself, around people that care about you, for you.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
It takes practice to learn how to be short and to the point. Try to reply with as little words necessary to say what you need to say. As darknes already pointed out, that exchange earlier about a dentist appointment went on WAY longer than necessary. Use this experience as a learning point. You can look back and see how things went off course. And you have some alternative responses that you could have used, prepared for next time. You could always post her message here and ask for suggestions as to if/how to reply.
Originally Posted By: CRW
W You never seem to have an answer for that? What is your purpose, Craig? What is it that you want? What is the push to hold on? I've asked numerous times to draw up something or to talk to me about why we can't come to a conclusion outside of the courts, but you never have an answer. I want to believe the best in you, but you make it extremely difficult.
This one is tricky for me because I personally feel that if she wants to divorce you, she needs to do the work! I likely would have advised to say nothing in response as nothing you say will change anything. Except maybe to validate what she said, but I'm not sure what words would be best for that.
I'm even starting to reply to my friends with short concise responses. They wonder why i'm so short with them but I see it as good practice. I think it does take a different mindset to not ramble on, period. That's a real 180.
The less you talk, the more you listen.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
It takes practice to learn how to be short and to the point. Try to reply with as little words necessary to say what you need to say. As darknes already pointed out, that exchange earlier about a dentist appointment went on WAY longer than necessary. Use this experience as a learning point. You can look back and see how things went off course. And you have some alternative responses that you could have used, prepared for next time. You could always post her message here and ask for suggestions as to if/how to reply.
Originally Posted By: CRW
W You never seem to have an answer for that? What is your purpose, Craig? What is it that you want? What is the push to hold on? I've asked numerous times to draw up something or to talk to me about why we can't come to a conclusion outside of the courts, but you never have an answer. I want to believe the best in you, but you make it extremely difficult.
This one is tricky for me because I personally feel that if she wants to divorce you, she needs to do the work! I likely would have advised to say nothing in response as nothing you say will change anything. Except maybe to validate what she said, but I'm not sure what words would be best for that.
That is the one thing that gives me pause in all this. If she wants the divorce so bad, why isn't she getting the papers ready and throwing them at me? It is only a couple hundred dollars to have them prepared.
Me: 38 y/o W: 38 y/o Together: 10 yrs Married: 7 yrs S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15) WBD: Sep '15 W's EA confirmed Oct'15 W Filed Dec '15 Personal awakening Mar'16
That is the one thing that gives me pause in all this. If she wants the divorce so bad, why isn't she getting the papers ready and throwing them at me? It is only a couple hundred dollars to have them prepared.
One other piece of advice: Stop trying to figure her out. It'll drive you crazy and just keep you stuck.
She wants the divorce - she does ALL the work.
She doesn't have the papers prepared - you don't have to do anything.
She has the papers prepared - you review with your lawyer.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
The truth is that she does not want the D. If she wanted it then she'd have gotten it. She still has you hooked, and you keep on biting.
Like i said on my thread, when i went all wayward with my XGF, I kept her hooked for 2 and a half years still, until i found something better (else) - LOL - my WW. OH THATS FUNNY! You gotta love karma!
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
