14 days of sheer hell, part 6, i think

[DDJ]

Hey doodler, still a little anxiety whenever I think of her and the past. But i fully comprehend where its coming from and why.

I removed her from my life insurance beneficiary today... being worth alot of money when dead and having a broke wife who doesn't care about you is looking for trouble. Was emotional because i was thinking about how she must be feeling, that she could be losing everything for a (very long) moment of madness. But then i sit and think, what is best for me.

I'm going to put the house on my name soon and that is going to be another nail in the M, and R coffin. But i need this doodler, I need this more than I needed anything in my life. I need to lose my co-dependency for my WW so that I can live the life that I dreamt about and hopefully one day I will find that fool that won't leave me. It might be her, I won't cross my fingers - those are pointing forwards.