Zephyr, as usual a well thought out and well put reply.
The bitterness for some I think may be because of continuous reminders. Or continued selfish actions by the ex. I have seen bitter people, and believe me, I don't want to be one of them!
I have not read about the love languages. One step at a time, still working on my overwhelming loneliness and the codependence. I have been reading and listening to lots on it, figured that is the major obstacle at this point since I am not in a R. Most of what I am finding is that one partner is codependent and the other is a narcissist. I can't nail down who did what in my M completely. I have done a few self tests, where I score good. I then redo the test with my understanding of W, she scores worse but still no where near an actual NPD. I actually had more typed but deleted it as it is just rambling, I need to put the thoughts together constructively and more organized before posting.
I have been practicing better parenting skills, and validating is one of the major ones I am implementing, and noticing huge improvements on. My mother is a full blown monster when it comes to this, the best of intents and the very worst tools. Living with her is a nightmare I can't wait to escape, even with all the help she provides, the emotional devastation at this time in my life is overwhelming, so I try to avoid her as much as possible. This has always been the relationship with her. Definitely the source of my codependency. Being I live there, it is challenging. Being I don't have enough close friends, and an introvert, makes it difficult to find anything to do besides pacing up and down the driveway. I need to find something for myself someday.
