Lost at the moment

[lfm]

Let myself get sucked in again... I'm so dissapointed in myself.

Here's the story. Saturday night we went to a wedding reception for my S(19) girlfriends sister. We've gotten to know their family very well as S has been dating their daughter for over 2 years. During the reception we were holding hands, putting our arms around each other and W was laughing and leaning into me when she found something super funny. It really felt like old times between us.

I let my guard down and thought maybe she was starting to see the light a bit, but then was back to the OM last night. She didn't come home right after work like she usually does. She called and said she needed to go to the store. I knew from prior behavior that she was going to see the OM.

Anyway, feeling kind of stupid today becuase of all of it. This is going to be a long, long, long process and the rollercoaster is killing me.

Hope everyone else out there is doing well and thanks for listening/reading!