I am finally catching up on the boards. So good to read your posts. I am an admirer of your attitude and your way of framing the best in everything while never shying away from the darker side. It is an art form but it serves you well.
I understand about your philosophy of trying to stay fluid. Not shutting doors but definitely not staring at them either. Enjoy your life - I have a feeling there will be many gifts awaiting you as move forward.
M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters BD: 5/14 Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW D Final 9/17
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” ― Maya Angelou
Thanks for the responses. Gwen-it's fantastic to hear from you.
What's happening in G-land? Well we adopted a new dog from a rescue group. Loves kids. Very friendly. YAY! Unbeknownst to us dog has separation issues and broke through a window in the house trying to escape. BOO! I thought about crying that day and I figured why bother? It was only going to make me look like I had hay fever and did I really want to expend that kind of energy over a window? Nah.....
Just got back from Las Vegas and I had an excellent time. I am just trying to enjoy the kids, friends, work, dog, and live a little. I do love catching up on threads and hearing about new things in people's lives. Makes me feel giddy:)
x Mr GB lives with his gf now. We get along fine although not much interaction. Although, it's probably for the best as we don't have much in common anymore-I'm too old for him. BOOYA!!!Seriously, I am always grateful for my time with him. Although it seems like a lifetime ago, I got the best end of the deal. I have 3 wonderful kids and my life is entertaining. Oh the stories I could tell......
Overall, things are good. I do have down days and I miss certain elements of a relationship (hint-sexay times). I want to have much fun this spring and summer and my oldest is about to turn 13. How did I get a teenager??
Hope everyone is well. xoxo
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
I'm so happy you posted an update! What kind of dog did you get? I'm sorry about the window, but now you know that the dog has separation issues and the window can be fixed.
Glad you had a good time in Vegas. You sound like you are starting to enjoy life once again. You have so much to be thankful for. You and your kids are healthy, good friends and a new dog.
Look out! Hormones will be raging now that you have a 13 yr. old...but you've got this. You've already had a man/child relive his youth and I know you can handle this too.
Take care and don't be a stranger!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Well Miss Belle! I am glad you have a new dog. Love dogs! We have 2 dogs also. One I got from my brother who raises cow dogs. She is the smartest dog I have ever had. The other, EXW brought home one day and thought she was so cute and wanted to keep her. ALL PUPPIES ARE CUTE!! Dog grew up to be an idiot! Kind of ironic!! BUT, since EXW has been out of the house, she is getting smarter all the time! GO FIGURE!! LOL!!
Glad you had fun in Vegas! I have always wanted to go. Not sure I could deal with all the people, but I would like to see it. My idea of great vacations are Yellowstone or Glacier National Park!
My D is getting ready to turn 13 also! We have bonded very well and we have talked about some of the changes she will be going through. We have always had a good relationship. Her older sister will be around to help her also. I will do my best, but of course, I am Dad, not Mom.
You sound good Belle! It was funny, when I posted on here again I started thinking about you and how you were doing. Hope you get a chance to get out on that beach!!:)
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
GB - Having fur babies is definitely an adventure. After our beloved Lab passed away last fall we made the switch to 2 kittens. They are adorable and they drive me crazy but in a good way. Wonderful therapy for us and a way to celebrate our new family. Also love them being more independent as we can leave them overnight. We named them Leonardo Dicatrio "Leo" and "Oscar" - I guess they were a lucky because a couple of months later Leo finally got his Oscar.
So glad you are choosing to shine on and bring some sparkle to each day. {{{hugs}}}
M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters BD: 5/14 Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW D Final 9/17
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” ― Maya Angelou
Thanks Job, Joe (I actually have a mini crush on a Joe-too bad it isn't reciprocated) and Gwen. I am always happy to hear from you and hope you are all well.
I haven't been here in a couple of months. I realize that I am struggling. My self esteem is completely shot and while I feel optimistic for others, I do not feel that for myself. I hate to sound like a whiner and that is what I sound like. I feel like no man with options would ever want me and I would never be attracted to a guy without options. If that makes me sound terrible, so be it. While I have a huge group of male friends, I cannot bear to think of being or opening up to anyone. I'm even close with my x BIL as he is going through a divorce. If I'm being honest, I feel invisible. There are other issues that I cannot discuss here, however, they are deeply tied to my ED. I go out a couple of times a month and have fun, and immediately shut down when a guy friend asks why I am single or why I kissed a 5 when I'm an 8. I'm not an 8. Most days I feel like a 2. These arbitrary ratings and leagues befuddle me and I can't get caught up in that garbage. I feel like shattered glass on the inside. I'm sorry I don't sound like daisies and unicorns. These last couple of months have taken a toll on my already very fragile self esteem. Gotta regroup and shake this off.
On a happier note, my peeps are wonderful. Sassy yet fun. D11 just donated a foot of hair. S6 is graduating from K and S 13 is very protective of me. They want me to date. D11 tried to sign me up on Tinder. X Mr. GB makes my head hurt so I try to limit contact with him. He and gf (I guess they are getting married or at least engaged soon)just moved further away. I am ready for something to happen and hopefully I can sell my house soon and move closer to my best friend and ex inlaws. I feel like something has to change. For the better.
Even though I feel kinda poopy, I know I have much to be grateful for-3 beautiful children, good health, fantastic friends and the best ex inlaws ever. I'm just in a funk and I am having a hard time digging out. And I do want to.
Hugs to you all.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
You have always been stunning ... you just need to realize it and own it. I have followed you for some time and read all youve shared here and I know guys with options will be certainly interested in you, but you have to just own the fact you are the prize ... for whatever reason you seem scared to do this .. like you do not deserve it for whatever reason .. I know it .. been there done that ... F that Gb ... ya know?
Keep digging out .. stop kissin toads ... lock yourself in a room, put in Cali's Jams and dance your ass off like you can .... I would so have you on my stage ripping it up !!!
seems to me ... and i could be projecting some of my own feelings here ... is there some residual ptsd from exh? i go back and forth on the self esteem thing also. i hope that time will heal it for both of us xoxoxo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
GB - Worrying about the future can be overwhelming and I understand what you mean about guys with options. perhaps the best strategy is not to overthink things with relationships. Be open to meeting people as friends and experiencing relationships without focusing on sex or dating. If you can be open to getting to know someone then you can worry about all that other stuff.
Yes to find someone you will have to put yourself out there but you also have to focus on creating a life for yourself. If you can be at peace with yourself then you'll be much more likely to attract the guy who is worthy of you.
Also I am not trying to be negative but statistically many women don't remarry for a myriad of reasons. I want to live my life in a hopeful way but in the end the most important relationship is the one I have with myself.
You are amazing and strong and beautiful. Life is a cha cha not a sprint to the finish. Hang in there.
M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters BD: 5/14 Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW D Final 9/17
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” ― Maya Angelou
