Thanks for the encouragement. The next few weeks are going to be taken up almost exclusively with work but after that I will try to find something. As I have posted before the summer is going to be a long one, the first in my new sitch and I think I'm avoiding planning it at the moment, avoiding conversations with W about what S may or may not want to do. Stupid really as I'm sure she's got her plans and won't worry about telling me. Look at Easter when she disappeared for a few days only telling S. I really can't complain, I've had some good moments over the last few months but you are right Sotto I still have the tendency to stop and wish she was there to share them and complete my happiness. Still learning how to deal with this new life, my friends say I'm too hard on myself, mindfulness has helped me to try to be more understanding of myself too. Trying not to speculate about she'll say and do in response to the minimum contact, should trust myself more as the few times we have met things have gone well for me. I feel like W is using finance disputes to try to meet me, we have already agreed things twice but now she says lets meet to talk it over and it would be nice to see you sometime. I suppose she wants to check I'm still there. I have told her there is no need so then she goes silent and does nothing. I really don't want to meet as I know she'll smile, hold my arm, hug me etc and chat as if nothing has ever happened. We did it in January and March, don't feel like doing it again. What would be the point? Time to carry on with my life without overthinking things, enjoy time with S and leave W to her life. She chose her new sitch to be happy, she expected S and I to be in her life almost on a daily basis but that hasn't happened. I have no idea what she thinks or feels anymore. Time to accept she is no longer the woman I knew before and concentrate on my new life, trying not to let the inevitable and necessary contact I have to have with her affect me so much. The reality is that looking at things coldly she isn't coming back and I could never join in her new life with OM as her best friend, something she wanted from the day she walked out.
