Pattie- Your post made me cry, and I have no idea why. Part of me really does want to walk away (emotionally, since he has already done that physically). Part of me does want to wall off my heart and refuse to look back, because I feel like that is what he will get down to doing once I am completely moved. I guess that is the ultimate DBing dilemma - how to detach, but to leave the door open...how to live with this stupid gnawing ache...
If this was a new relationship, it wouldn't be a big deal. We see each other, we call each other. I wish just once I could know what he's feeling, and planning...sometimes I wish the positives weren't there, so this was more clear-cut. I don't know how the heck I am supposed to stay open and loving when I KNOW he is going to file those papers soon!
It's really sad to sit here in my half-empty house without him, knowing that if I decide to stay the course and DB until the end, I could be alone for quite a while. That ten dollar bet about me being filed on by May 1st still holds... Sorry for whining - I know lots of other people here are hurting just as much as I am, many much more. This is really hard. Hugs, Myrrh
Oh, and goal for tonight...relax, watch Sat night TV, work on cleaning up the living room some, and don't contact H in any way, shape, or form. I am feeling very emotionally achy right now.
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
