Focus on me and my boys

[rich4j]

V,



Rich,

I have also felt hate! Gosh, it's not like I did not want to have a vibrant life also. But 5 small kids doesn't really allow that. So although she is blaming a lot of this stuff on me, I think she has some serious issues she has to deal with.

Jim (and also cWol) ---no easy answer to the resentment and hate piece.
These feelings are natural as our lives have been uprooted and shaken from the core. Then there is no remorse and lashing out. And then there is blame...it is all your fault. I got that last week again and its a vicious cycle of blame to make herself feel better that any infidelity or any of this leaving the marriage is not her (insert his where needed!) fault.

You will find that she/he will also find friends to help them validate this mess and say you"need to find hapiness".

So pile on the monkey. And this boils up into going from loving and wanting to fix a broken marriage to hate (at least for me)

How do you get thru this? No idea yet. Days I don't hate or resent and days I am so disgusted I want to puke

Being disconnected (DB'ing) and the less you see them and have to interact with help with the hate (in my case). When i am away for 3-4 days or she is I dont need to deal with her and just focus on my and the kid.