Thanks, PIB! Yes, I absolutely love the books, and for some reason it doesn't bohter me to read them even though they do have romance in them...I think it's because Claire is so strong, and that's inspiring to me.
Today is the big day I get my keys...I am excited and also thinking about how things will change between my H and I. It will be hard moving all my things out of our house this weekend, and I can't help but wonder if he will ever try to contact me once I'm not just a couple blocks away (I am only as far away as Walmart, but, well...).
Better I express my secret worries here than to him, right? Thanks for the happy thoughts, PIB! Hugs, Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Cainercast for the day:
We all hold, in our minds, some dubious definitions. We consider, for example, certain environments, situations or people to be 'familiar'. We feel comforted by these. Whatever may be wrong with them, we at least know where we are. You can, though, walk down a street a thousand times and still overlook some key factor within it. You can know someone for years and still be mystified by them. You are discovering now, just how much you still have to discover. It may be a little disorientating but it is very positive.
How do these things continue to be so eerily relevant? Well, if nothing else, it's food for thought.
Hugs to all,
Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
A recap for Nitaf: Me 23, H 30, S 20 months Together 3 years, married only 1 year and a few months. I had serious problems with clinical depression and was in and out hospitals. 5 monthsafter we were married, he started an affair with OW (19) and moved out last Sept right after I got out of the hospital for the last time. The affair ended when H suggested that she move back to her parent's home 3 hours. Things became steadily more positive, but I didn't start DBing until January, and he moved back home February 15 (too soon). I fell back into more of the same, the fighting began again, and H moved back into his shop last Friday. I got an apt this Monday (after deciding I needed to get some physical distance from things) and I get my keys today. So, he has left both times, but never done anything permanent about it.
As far as I know, he is filing for divorce sometime this month, but has not made any phone calls or appts yet that he has told me about. Lots of positives this week, but I am not changing my plan or goals at this point - if we try this again, it will be with counseling and lots of advance planning, not spur-of-the-moment like it was in February.
So I don't know - I do expect him to file fairly soon, but I have all these positives that are happening, and if nothing else, they boost my PMA.
I love my H and he and I are best friends, so I hope if nothing else I will be able to salvage that from this mess.
Is that helpful? Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Here's a slippery, sloppy, coppertone suntan oil hug from south Florida!! To have your insight into relationships, and relationship building at your age is incredible. Any man would be fortunate to know you, something your hubby already knows!!
Time to go audition some more limbo bimbo's Ohhh, here come the umbrella drinks!
Yup, I am still just a little girl - my secret is out. Had a bit of a scary moment this morning - this letting go/detaching stuff is really hard. My H left here around 11pm last night, and I logged onto AIM today, and lo and behold, he has been logged in all night and left an away message that he'll be back on around noon. Now I know you all know what I am thinking, here, right? I left some stupid (not insane, just stupid) messages for him, so he may be miffed at me, but after I dropped off the little guy, I im'd him an apology, it's none of my business, sometimes I say things without thinking, talk to you later, etc. Short, businesslike, and pleasant. I think I may just have to block his screen name so I can't see when he is online.
It is SO HARD to stop acting like he's mine! And I have to, for my own sanity. Sometimes I hate the internet and computers. I wish I could fast-forward a few months so I was farther along in the detaching process. Bah, Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Yech- A good pma day turned into crap. I had to go pick up money from H at his shop, and we ended up having to go to the bank. He bought S this little bunny that sings, dances, and hops, and bought me a really pretty woodbound photo album as well - I love to scrapbook and have a million pictures. He was nice, no goodbye kiss this time, but he was very kind.
I don't know what's going on - I am just moving. I am feeling somewhat emotional about getting my keys and starting this whole process. He was nice about the earlier messages, didn't ever really say who he talked to, but said he left it on for Brad, who is always on AIM.
I can't think about it right now. This really does hurt. It hurts to move out of the place where my son was made and has lived, and where I have lived for 3 years. I am trying my best to not show H any emotion, although I just did and it really irritated him. Some R talk in the car - me being dumb and asking if he considered himself single. WHACK, WHACK, WHACK. I am doing it so you guys don't have to.
I am just afraid of what this move will mean - maybe no contact with H for a very long time. He will pick up and drop off S at daycare on his days, so we won't see each other then. I am just afraid he will move on and never look back once I am out of here. I know I will be okay if he does - can all of you remind me of that when I feel blindsided by the D papers one of these days?
PMA in the toilet again...yuck. Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Okay - just to clarify, the first time when Dustin moved out, not a lot changed for me - he just didn't sleep here. No furniture was moved, there was no set in stone visitation with S, we didn't have to divide stuff up. So I am going through some of this crap for the first time. That's why it is so painful for me right now. Like H said, I didn't necessarily HAVE to leave, but I just felt like i needed to make a change here - leaving instead of being left, changing my life before it was changed for me.
I will survive this - maybe I will even let go of my dreams of the two=parent family and a house in suburbia where the biggest problem is crabgrass on the lawn and making sure S doesn't kill himself on his first minibike. Someday, Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Well, moved a bunch of furniture to the new place with H - he kept hugging me, and gave me a kiss earlier in the day, Lots of suggestive comments and references to coming over sometimes to my apt - dunno bout that, we'll see. I still find his attitude confusing. He talked about wanting me to have a nicer place, went around and checked all my windows.
I honestly don't know what's going on here - I guess we'll see how much he really wants to be involved with S and I once I get completely settled in the apt. Still no mention of lawyers or papers by him. Confusion abounds! Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Myrrh 
To have your insight into relationships, and relationship building at your age is incredible. Any man would be fortunate to know you, something your hubby already knows!! 
Ohhh, here come the umbrella drinks! 
He was nice, no goodbye kiss this time, but he was very kind.