And this might be a little selfish, but I want the texts now, as after they've been "over-written" they are no longer retrievable 'the easy way'. and I may be in the wrong here, but if the D does happen, I do intend on exposing the A to the other LBS, not in full detail, but I would want that other LBS to do the same for me if the situation was reversed.
It's okay/good to have the life talk with her, and when she turns it into an R talk, just keep focus on the "life" part of it, and turn back to the ownership of debts/assets. right?
If you're going to have a "life" talk then it's going to be an R talk. You're just euphemising.
The reason everyone suggests no R talk is because it's usually useless and fruitless. The problem is that she's not rational right now; she may believe she has a friend and not an EA partner and so on as so forth. That doesn't mean that you can't try and then see where it goes. I think that typically R talk just makes both spouses feel worse, but sometimes you have to have some R talk, and if that's what you do then mentally prepare yourself for a let-down.
Well, yeah, it's hard to differentiate R talk when we're talking about who's responsible for what bills/payments during the separation/divorce process. But IMO, its a talk that just has to happen, as I've pulled all money out of the joint checking (except $2500, and told her she can do whatever with it), and I don't plan on putting any more in there unless emergency occurs.
Betterm, just skimmed your many posts during my time mostly in the dark. I just told my WW that she better budget really good with what she has. I will give her not one cent if she needs it. So she will need to survive on her own.
As for your situation, I think that it's your money. Besides spending it on your WW, what do YOU want to do with YOUR money that would make YOU Happy. You could tell her that its your money and take her entire salary to pay off her costs. You could then make sure that there's food in the house, fuel in the car (for work) and then give nothing else. NOTHING AT ALL.
Our WWs want space, they want the freedom to find their independence. So think of them as a teenager in the home, perhaps. If they need money, then they can ask, but you don't have to say yes. TOUGH love, certainly.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
I just don't need to make and rash moves until I talk to another attorney on Wed. Just carry on, as is, and discuss it later. No need to rush anything here.
Anyone got recommendations for online checking accounts? Ally? Simple? Capitalone360?
Ddj, and others.. Just curious if anyone else had input on whether or matters who's in what bedroom. No kids, 2 story home, and I really have no 'benefit' of fighting for the master. I'd really only be doing it to 'prove a point', so to speak. Is that actually something to fight for?
I realized it's a standing your ground thing for some people But to me every situation is different Would it be "more of the same" behavior? That's what you need to ask yourself Not post BD but before that
I'm in the guest bedroom now and was told by many to "man up" and get back into the MBR. But for me that would come accords as more of the same. My controlling ways, etc So DB coach suggested based on my situation to stay where I'm at
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
That's a good point, cbt. Anytime you can 180 a behavior seen as a negative, do it. It can be seen as controlling.
I simply assumed based on the description of betterm's W's behavior that she was the more controlling of the two, and the one used to getting her way. If that truly is the case, giving up the MB would score her a "win" and encourage more of the same, even more aggressive behavior.
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
