14 days of sheer hell, part 6, i think

[DDJ]

Sorry to hear, but very true Blueboy, what they stand for cannot be lost in death.

Just an update on my goals; it's been 8 weeks since BD...

4 weeks since i dropped porn
3 weeks since i dropped alcohol
2 weeks since i dropped sex

I feel like a new person. A person with purpose and more in control of myself, and less in control of others.

So here's my update from my most fantabulous holiday...

I felt as though I went with a work colleague. The closest she got was a stolen kiss on my naked shoulder - i guess it's an overly flirtatious colleague then.

On the plane back, she sat next to me, looked me in the eyes (with hers looking real lost), slowly rubbed the stubble on my chin (as she's done forever), and said "I miss you". I looked deep into her eyes and I said, "I know". I then pulled my face away and looked the other way. I know i've come a real long way... too far too soon perhaps?

I know that God has put this challenge in my life so that I can turn a vicious cycle virtuous. I feel that God is trying to tell me that I need to leave my WW behind whilst I find myself and move forward. This does not mean D, it's just dropping her and focusing on myself and what makes me happy.
Who knows where that will take me, all that I do know is that my M and R is over. A new one can be reborn, but not before both of us find ourselves and solidify what we stand for. Who knows? God does.

As I posted on AndrewPs thread, i'm going to spend less time here to issue 2x4's to myself, through posting on other peoples threads. Counter-intuitive. LOL

I am yet to go to al-anon as i've been busy on sundays, but am going to make a plan for Sunday at 3pm. I think that it will be good for the spirit.